


Living for the City

by paragraph (ebcdic)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Costumes, Derogatory Language, Football, Homecoming, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Pop Culture, Secret Relationship, home economics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 04:36:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12697500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebcdic/pseuds/paragraph
Summary: Jensen's life is totally over. And then he meets Jared.





	Living for the City

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

New York, New York. The epicenter of life as Jensen knows it. Glittering streets, dark alleys, towering skyscrapers, green parks, fashion, music, food, and most importantly: theatre. Broadway is the one place where Jensen's heart sings louder and stronger than any other corner of the city. Someday his name will be up there in lights, he just knows it.

Even from the back of his mother's car as they leave the city behind, heading west toward the vast sea of boredom that sits between New York and Los Angeles, Jensen swears he can still see the lights calling out to him, "come back, come back."

"Someday," Jensen murmurs into the window. "Someday I'll escape and find my way back."

"Don't be so dramatic, sweetie," Jensen's mom sighs. "We're only moving three hours away."

"Are you kidding me?" Jensen huffs as he turns to face his mom. "Upstate New York is like another country. It doesn't even deserve to share a name with the greatest city in the world."

Jensen's mom just sighs heavily and Jensen crosses his arms over his chest, staring glumly out the window.

**

Guilderland High School is in the middle of nowhere, literally. It's on a rural route between an all-volunteer fire station and an apple orchard. Behind the school is an industrial train yard and down the road is a strip mall with the post office, a general store, a barber shop, and the rental office for the apartment complex that shares the same tract of land. The apartment complex contains two six-story buildings oddly named 4 and 5, as if the presence of two apartment towers in a town with a population of maybe 500 wasn't odd enough. Then again, it's within driving distance of the state university, where his mom works, and the government buildings in Albany. Plus, the town of Guilderland Center, where the apartments are actually located, is surrounded by the larger city of Guilderland, hence the name of the high school.

Jensen and his mom live in building 5 in a two-bedroom with a rather depressing view of the parking lot. What's even more depressing is that they're not allowed to paint the walls or even tack up too many decorations. Jensen settles for a life-sized poster of his fashion and music idol, Lady Gaga. 

"Someday I'll be just as famous as you," Jensen tells the poster before flicking the end of his rainbow scarf over his shoulder.

**

Within minutes of entering the school, Jensen is called "fag" six times, shoved into a locker once, tripped twice, and gets eye-fucked by a tall redheaded girl. It's about what Jensen expected; he's an acquired taste. And not everyone can pull off pink leather pants paired with a tuxedo shirt and a fedora, so there's bound to be jealousy. 

"I'm Jensen Ackles, but I prefer just Jensen. Like Madonna or Beyoncé," Jensen tells the school administrator.

"Well, I'd prefer to be the Queen of England, but we can't always get what we want, can we?" She smiles meanly and then slaps Jensen's schedule down on the counter. "Here's your schedule, Mr. Ackles."

Jensen frowns as he picks up the piece of paper. Chemistry, trigonometry, European history, home economics, American literature, and economics, but no art, drama, choir, or even band. "Umm, this can't be right. Where are my art classes?"

"Budget cuts," someone says behind Jensen.

"But that's criminal!" Jensen turns and complains. To the most gorgeous guy he's ever met in his life. Floppy brown hair, bright smile, dimples, broad shoulders, narrow hips, big hands, and he's wearing a pink shirt. Jensen's knees wobble just a little bit.

"Well, apparently the football team needed new uniforms," the guy says with a wry grin. He holds out his hand to shake. "I'm Jared, by the way."

"Jensen." Jensen shakes Jared's hand and tries not to whimper or throw himself into the other boy's arms.

Jared picks up the schedule Jensen dropped and glances at it. "Looks like we have almost the same schedule. HomeEc first. I'll walk you there."

"Nargh," Jensen whimpers as Jared turns and Jensen gets a perfect view of his ass.

"What was that?" Jared throws over his shoulder.

"Just saying thanks!" Jensen chirps and tries not to blush when Jared smirks at him.

**

HomeEc is a disaster of epic proportions. Jensen does not cook. Cooking is for non-famous, non-fabulous people who have nothing better to do with their lives. So he might have set a dish towel on fire and doused Jared in water in an attempt to put it out. 

"Oh god. I'm so, so sorry," Jensen says as he pats at Jared's chest.

"Dude, you're kind of feeling me up," Jared says dryly. 

"Oh!" Jensen steps back reluctantly. 

"I think maybe you should be in charge of measuring and I'll do the cooking, okay?" Jared uses some paper towels to wipe himself down. "Less danger that way."

"Umm, okay." Jensen glances at the recipe and then the containers on the counter. "So which of these is flour?"

"Or maybe you can just sit there on the counter and not touch anything," Jared amends with a sigh.

Jensen blushes. "Did I mention that I'm sorry?"

"It's okay, really." Jared grins. "I like to cook."

By the time Jared turns around to measure out the flour, Jensen is a little puddle on the floor from the force of that smile. Jared is totally meant to be Jensen's soul mate. Or at least a fling until Jensen hits the big time.

**

If it wasn't bad enough that Jensen hates all forms of mathematics and science, he has Chemistry and Trigonometry back-to-back before lunch. And Jared isn't in either one of them. But the eye-fucking redhead is and she just won't quit. Like, is it not obvious that Jensen is totally gay?

"So, I'm Amber," the redhead says when they get paired as lab partners in Chemistry. "And you're hot."

"I'm Jensen. And you're so not my type."

"What?" Amber pouts.

"Umm." Jensen gestures at himself, highlighting his sparkly green Converse, pink leather pants, and rainbow scarf. "Hello? Gay? Totally obvious."

"You just haven't met the right girl," Amber purrs as she feels up Jensen's right bicep. 

Jensen resists the urge to throw up. "Yeah, so not happening." He shrugs off Amber's hand. "Sorry."

"Whatever," she huffs. "You're not even that hot."

**

When Jensen walks into the cafeteria, everyone turns to stare at him. The tables are segregated into cliques just like Jensen's old high school, the only difference being there's no table full of art-type people like Jensen. In fact, there's not a single person who stands out from the crowd. No pink hair, no black nails, no facial piercings, not even someone wearing all-black. Then Jared enters from the other door and Jensen swears he can see a glow envelope him. 

"Jared!" Jensen calls out as he walks toward him.

"Oh, hey, Jensen," Jared murmurs as they step away from the crowd, toward the vending machines.

"You're looking, you know, dry," Jensen grins.

"Yeah, well." Jared scratches the back of his neck. "I should get going."

"You don't want to have lunch?" Jensen asks hopefully. 

Jared glances toward the jock table and Jensen follows his gaze. One of the guys is miming a blow job and the rest are laughing, clearly at Jared and Jensen. Although Jensen is pretty sure the loud "fag" is directed at him alone. 

"Oh," Jensen says softly, dropping his eyes to the floor.

"No, I mean, I'm not like them. But I can't…"

Jensen glances up through his eyelashes and sees the pleading look on Jared's face. "It's okay," Jensen says softly. 

Then he turns and flees the cafeteria, resigned to eating lunch alone in some deserted corner of the library.

**

The next day in HomeEc, Jensen sits at his sewing machine fiddling with the settings, and steadfastly ignoring Jared. Not that Jared is trying to get his attention or anything. Jensen threads the machine with a bright red thread and then gets to work stitching the seam on the decorative pillow he's supposed to be making. 

"You like Lady Gaga?" Jared asks out of nowhere.

Jensen realizes he's been humming _Telephone_ all this time and he blushes hard. "Yeah, I do," he answers defensively.

"I like her, too," Jared says softly, not looking up from where he's trying to untangle a bunch of thread from his machine.

"Here, let me." Jensen reaches over to untangle the thread for Jared. Their fingers brush and Jensen's breath catches in his throat. He can feel Jared's breath on his cheek. It would be easy to turn and brush his lips against Jared's, but he doesn't. Instead, he just finishes pulling the thread free. "There."

Jared coughs slightly. "Thanks."

"Anytime," Jensen murmurs.

**

The next couple of weeks go by in the same pattern. Tentative flirting in HomeEc followed by ignoring each other's existence. Well, the latter is more on Jared's part than Jensen's. Still, Jensen has hope. Jared is obviously deep in the closet, but at least he's not a completely straight douche bag. Jensen can live with that. 

"Fuse is doing a Lady Gaga takeover tonight," Jensen informs Jared in mid-September. 

"Oh man," Jared sighs. "I don't get that channel."

"I do," Jensen smiles shyly. "You could come over and watch? Like, it starts at seven."

"Okay."

Jensen hurriedly scribbles down his address before Jared can change his mind.

**

Jensen is totally freaking out. Jared is going to be here any minute and Jensen still can't decide what shirt to wear. Something sexy, but not too obvious. Or should he just wear the same thing he wore to school so it doesn't look like he's trying too hard?

So he's standing there half-naked when Jared walks in his room. Jensen can't believe he didn't hear his mom let Jared in. 

"Oh!" Jensen yelps.

Jared closes the door and then gulps audibly. "Wow, you're…"

Needless to say, they don't end up watching Lady Gaga.

**

Homecoming is the first week of October. At Guilderland High School, this means every day there's a different theme leading up to Friday where each class wears their own colors, all the easier to spot freshman and torture them. The themes are pretty unimaginative but like Jensen is going to pass up the opportunity to dress in costume. 

Monday is Hippie Day. Jensen totally has bellbottoms from Halloween last year when he dressed up as Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever and his mom is more than willing to show him how to tie-dye a shirt. So Jensen walks into the school wearing a long, blond wig, a pink tie-dyed shirt, white bellbottoms, and white platform shoes with pink daisy stickers on them, and pink-tinted glasses just like John Lennon's. 

Unfortunately, no one else seems to have taken the theme as seriously. There's a handful of people with tie-dyed shirts on and a few pairs of bellbottoms floating around, but that's about it. Everyone gives Jensen weird looks or snickers behind their hands. But Jensen doesn't care. He's owning this outfit. He strides into HomeEc with his head held high.

"What are you wearing?" Jared gasps.

"Isn't it fabulous?" Jensen asks as he sits down next to Jared.

"It's kind of… pink?" Jared winces a bit. 

"I thought you liked pink," Jensen pouts as he picks up a handful of carnations off the desk. They're supposed to be learning flower arranging today, which Jensen usually finds soothing.

"Yeah, but… that's just a lot of pink." Jared stares pointedly at Jensen's boots. "Bright pink."

"Fuchsia is in this season," Jensen huffs. "And at least I have school spirit."

Jared looks down at his plain t-shirt and jeans and then shrugs. "I've never participated in theme week before."

"Oh my god. And you call yourself the captain of the football team?" Jensen tsks, shaking his head sadly.

"Okay, okay. I'll dress up tomorrow." Jared leans in and nips at Jensen's ear. "Just for you."

"Nargh," Jensen moans.

Jared picks up one of the flowers, a daisy, and threads it through his hair. "But how's this for now?"

Jensen smiles, his heart growing three sizes just from the almost-shy grin on Jared's face. "Perfect."

**

Tuesday is Western day. Jensen once played an extra in an off, off, off Broadway production of Oklahoma! so he decides to wear that costume. Only that was over a year ago and Jensen has grown a bit taller and a bit more muscular so the whole costume is kind of tight. But at least the slightly too short pants are covered up by the cowboy boots. 

This time no one is snickering at him. Instead there are dropped jaws, wolf-whistles, and lots of giggling. From the girls, at least. Jared, on the other hand, gets this odd look on his face before he drags Jensen into the supply closet at the back of the HomeEc room. Thankfully their teacher is older than dirt and spends the whole class period reading romance novels.

"Jesus, you look obscene," Jared mutters. "Like something out of porn."

Jensen doesn't even get a chance to open his mouth to reply before Jared is kissing his neck. Their boots are knocking together as they shift to align better and Jensen smiles. Jared dressed up for him.

**

Wednesday is Inside Out day. Which is incredibly boring, but Jensen wears his shirt like that anyway. So does Jared and most of the rest of the school. Trust the day with the least amount of effort to be the most popular. So Jensen doesn't get any strange looks, but just like every other day, he gets insults and people turning their noses up at him. It's disheartening, especially because Jared only talks to him in HomeEc, still ignoring him everywhere else. 

Jensen walks home feeling dejected, kicking leaves and wondering what someone fabulous would do in this situation. Madonna wouldn't make the best of it. She'd kick ass and take names. Too bad Jensen doesn't have her muscles. 

**

Thursday is Celebrity day. Jensen is up half the night trying to decide who he'll dress up as for it. Lady Gaga is an obvious choice, but cross-dressing might be taking it a bit too far for a school that barely tolerates Jensen's normal attire. Jensen considers and dismisses several male choices before he decides to just fuck what everyone else thinks and go with his heart.

So he arrives at school in a close approximation of Britney Spears' costume from "Me Against the Music", using the same blond wig from Monday, but not going the extra step of giving his body unnatural curves. Since it's close enough to a suit, no one really bats an eyelash.

"Britney, right?" Jared asks in HomeEc. He's wearing a black suit with a skinny tie. 

Jensen tilts his head. "And you?"

"Justin Timberlake, duh," Jared grins.

"Like, I'm so over you," Jensen huffs. 

"You wish." Jared winks. "You so wish."

Jensen tugs at the end of Jared's tie. "I wish we weren't in class because I totally know the entire dance routine from "I'm a Slave 4 U" and I know you wanna dance up on me."

Jared gulps. "Supply closet."

Jensen giggles and follows after him. 

**

Friday is colors day. Seniors have to wear red, which is so not Jensen's color. Jared looks so hot in his tight t-shirt though. Jensen just wants to gnaw on his biceps. But most classes are cancelled for pep rallies so Jensen doesn't even get to spend HomeEc with Jared. Plus, Jared is playing in the homecoming game and is going to the dance with some cheerleader, leaving Jensen out of the entire equation. It's depressing all around. 

Jensen walks home that afternoon feeling completely dejected, again. He wishes that Jared would have the nerve to take him to the homecoming dance. Or to even eat lunch with him in the cafeteria. Jensen is like totally putting out and he isn't even getting a meal first. It kind of makes him feel like a slut. Like, and not a super-fab one like Elizabeth Taylor or something. More like Lindsey Lohan, which is just icky. Jensen would never use spray-on tanner for one. 

Still, Jensen shows up at the football game. It's not like there's anything better to do in this town. The game is super-boring and even watching Jared's ass in the super-tight white pants he's wearing isn't helping. Plus, it's freezing. At half-time, Jensen wanders over to the little stand that's serving hot chocolate and stale hot dogs, but he's yanked out of the line and behind the building before he can even think to yelp in protest. 

"I swear I could feel your eyes on me the whole time," Jared pants, helmet dangling from his fingers, face red and sweaty.  
"Well, your ass is about the most interesting thing in this entire venture," Jensen smirks.

Jared crowds Jensen further against the wall, plastering himself against Jensen's body. "C'mon, give me a kiss for luck."

"You don't need any luck," Jensen points out. "You're winning like a billion to seven."

"Still." Jared leans in and nips Jensen's neck. "Couldn't hurt."

"Jared," Jensen moves his head away. "Cut it out."

"What?" Jared pulls back with a frown.

Jensen takes a deep breath, his mind made up in that moment. If Jared doesn't see what's so wrong with this whole thing, he's just going to have to spell it out. "I'm not going to be your dirty little secret anymore, okay? Like, you're totally not rich or famous enough to make up for having to hide everything." 

Jared steps back even further, a wounded look on his face. "I thought you understood."

"I do." Jensen moves away to avoid the temptation of comforting Jared. "But that's just not me. When I'm in love, I want to shout it from the rooftops, not whisper about it behind closed doors. I tried for you, I really did. I thought it wouldn't hurt as much as it does. I thought maybe you'd come around."

"Jensen, please." Jared's voice cracks. "Just give me more time."

"How long?" Jensen asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"When we go away to—"

Jensen cuts him off with a shake of his head. "Then it'll be when college is over, then it will be when you retire from the NFL or whatever, and then it'll be never. So, that's it. Now or never."

He waits for a minute, for a romantic moment where Jared sweeps him off his feet and introduces him to everyone, where fireworks go off in the background, but that doesn't happen. Jared makes a sniffing sound, like he's holding back tears, but just stands there, his shoulders hunched.

"Goodbye, Jared," Jensen says softly, not even bothering to stop the tears from welling up in his own eyes. He walks away, doesn't look back.

**

HomeEc is awkward on Monday. Jensen sits with Cathy, a girl who always wears all black and never says more than two words to anyone, instead of next to Jared like usual. They're learning how to make dress patterns today Jensen is doing the gown Michelle Obama wore at the inauguration ball. She's one classy woman, like Jackie O., but cooler. Jensen thinks it would be fun to be the First Lady. Picking out the china and attending fancy parties with foreign dignitaries. Jensen could totally do that. His French is totally flawless from that period he went through in fifth grade where he was obsessed with Celine Dion.   
He can feel Jared's eyes on him, but Jensen doesn't turn around, doesn't even acknowledge him. If Jared ever comes out, Jensen will be there, but until then, Cathy is a pretty good partner. She's way better with the sewing machine, anyway.

**

The one semi-artistic club the school has is Yearbook. Jensen signs up for it as soon as the notice that there's an open slot comes out, but when he comes to the first meeting on Tuesday, it's all the popular kids. Most of them snicker and the rest roll their eyes in his direction. Amber is there too, obviously the ringleader, and she hops down from her perch on a desk to smirk at Jensen.

"Oh my god. Like, you think you can walk in here and just join Yearbook?" 

"It's an open club," Jensen says, lifting his chin.

"Fag," someone snickers over to Jensen's right.

Jensen spins to face whoever said it and finds Jared instead of some loser jock. It's obvious that Jared just walked into the room though. He's all disheveled, looking like he ran all the way here.

"Don't use that word, Fitzpatrick," Jared half-growls, half-pants.

"Why? You a fag, too?" one of the other jocks calls out.

"Maybe I am," Jared says. His voice is confident but his face is a bit pale.

"Not changing with him in the locker room anymore," someone mutters, but everyone else the rest of them look away awkwardly.

"Jared, you're totally kidding, right?" Amber squeaks.

"No, I'm not." Jared stands a bit straighter and his fingers brush Jensen's. "You got a problem with it?"

Jared is big for his age. And a jock. A jock that wins the school lots of trophies. Not surprisingly, there's a lot of shrugging and mumbling in response. Jared nods curtly and then leads Jensen over to two free chairs.

"So, I think we were talking about The Circus as a theme this year?" Britney, a girl in Jensen's Economics class says.

The group dissolves into a discussion about layouts and colors, leaving Jensen time and space to whisper in Jared's ear. "Thanks."

"No, thank you," Jared grins at him, squeezing his hand.

Jensen feels like he's floating. Just that gesture from Jared is better than every Lady Gaga song Jensen's ever heard, every dream of being on Broadway, every second in New York City. It's real and beautiful; he's totally in love.


End file.
